June 30, 2013
Conversations from the Table aka Server Complaints.

Me: Hey guys! I see you’re wait for three others can I get you something to drink while you wai-
Table: Uhhhhh, yeah, see we’re waiting? For three others?
Me: Yup. I see that. Can I get you somethi-
Table: They’re just parking the car. They’ll be here soon.
Me: Oh, that’s fine, but can I get you anythin-
Table: They’re just around the the corner.
Me: OK. Ya know what? I’ll check back when they get here.
Table: Uhhh, I mean … can we get some drinks started? Or what?

Me: Hello everyone! How is everyone doing tonight?
Table: *blank looks*
Me: Can I get anyone something to drink?
Table: *blank looks*
Me: Any appetizers?
Table: *blank looks*
Me: Alright! I’ll just give you some time!
Table: *as I walk away* Uh, miss! Misssss!!!!
Me: Yes?
Table: *to each other* Do we want an appetizer? I mean, I’m ready to order my dinner. Are you getting a beer? Really?! Maybe I should get a beer! Oh my god! What beer should I get?!
Me: Let me give you some time.
Table: No! We’re ready to order! I mean, what do you guys want? Should we get the cheese curds? I’ll eat, like, two, but if you want them then let’s get them. Are you getting a cocktail?!?! Oh, my god! Maybe I should get a cocktail! But I told someone else I was getting a beer. Oh, my god! Maybe I’ll do both!
Me: I’ll give you all some time.
Table: No! We’re ready to order.
Me: I’ll give you some time.
Table: Ya know what? Just give us time.
Me: Yeahhhhhhhhh.

Table: I’ll have a Bud Light.
Me: I’m so sorry, but all the beer we carry is Wisconsin beer. Can I get you a Miller Light?
Table: You only carry one beer?
Me: No, no. We have 52 beers on tap and another 100 in bottles, they’re just all from Wisconsin. See the beer menu (in front of your goddamn face)?
Table: Tell me about this Wisconsin beer?
Me: No … see, we have many, many beers. They’re just from … *sigh* Wisconsin?
Table: And you really don’t carry Bud Light?
Me: Nope. Can I get you a Miller Light?
Table: What? You don’t carry regular Miller? We don’t drink light beers.
Me: *stunned look*
Table: Ya know, just bring me an Ambergeddon (aka, a super local beer so obscure we only carry it in a bottle and nothing like a Bud Light) BUT! I want it in a wine glass. A STEMMED wine glass.

Ugggghhhhhhh … there were so many more stories, but it’s almost midnight, I have a long walk home and I have to be back to work by 7:45 am AND I’m at the tail end of a 2 1/2 day work “week.” Mama needs to go home and sleep.

Lemme just close with this: be kind to your servers. Even if they’re rude, or forget to order your beer. Watch the tables they’re taking and notice when a table keeps them longer than they should.

Please keep in mind that your server cannot control how fast your food is made, or that it will come out correctly aka the food runner and/or kitchen can mess it up. I had a kitchen fall apart and the manager had to comp entire tables of all food and drink and the tables didn’t tip me and it was devastating. I did my part. The kitchen did not. Now I’m struggling to pay rent thank you very much.

Also, I can’t make your drinks, so if the bar is slow, I can’t help you and please don’t judge me.

Just. PLEASE!!! Be nice to your server. Be wise. Know when it’s your server’s fault and when it’s out of their hands. Because, really? SO MUCH OF IT IS!! I promise.

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